I have an insurmountable to-do list today, as I’m sure most
sailors have on most days, and knowing that I cannot possibly accomplish nearly
enough to feel satisfied 12 hours from now, I have decided to stop along the
way and smell the coffee.
I have accomplished two projects before going to the 2nd
cup, half of which was reheated first cup, however only one was nautical in
nature and it was not even on my most current revised to-do list. The unrelated project involved re-installing
the Sweet Sixteen’s bedroom window lock which she, or possibly her shirtless
boyfriend, had removed despite my previous attempts to make it unremoveable,
which led to the recent driving my car around at 1 AM on a school night without
so much as a learners permit and being stopped by the police incident for which
we must now appear in court on October 27th.
The re-installation involved hacksawing off the head of the
screw that holds the window lock in place and it was during this step that I
remembered the $5 screw I bought 2 weeks ago that was still on a project list
somewhere. So, since I was in a “hacksawing
mood” anyway, once the modern day chastity belt project was completed, I moved
on to the boat project.
This was a project that never should have existed in the
first place, and I am beginning to realize, in my infancy of boat-ownership,
that there will probably be a fair number of these projects – created either by
neglect or carelessness, and not necessarily of my own doing.
In this case, the previous owner had installed marine air
conditioning aboard Chapter Two, an upgrade for which we will be eternally
grateful, and one of the baffles that controls the amount of cold air flowing
into a particular location was not installed because the double-ended screw had
been lost. So, this one little lost part
had an impact upon the entire system because wherever the baffle was not
screwed in was going to receive an over-abundance of cool air to the detriment
of other locations. I brought back a
retaining nut a few weeks back, incorrectly assuming that a quick trip to Home
Depot would yield the proper sized screw.
Actually, it’s not even a screw, although it looks just like a 3 inch
screw with threads the entire length and no head. It’s probably more correctly referred to as a
hanger, but I was perfectly willing to go with a screw and break out the little
$3 hacksaw I bought years ago for some project long since gone from
memory.
The trip to Home Depot revealed that the part needed was
metric and nothing even closely resembling it was in their suddenly not-so-vast
inventory. Apparently, parts that fit
onto boats are not created in the same universe with which we are all intimately
familiar, but on some parallel universe where only exotic materials,
specifications and costs are employed.
Another trip to a “specialty” bolt and screw supplier would be
required.
I did make this trip a few days later, as this was a “hot”
item on my to-do list a few weeks ago, and obtained the only metric threaded
hanger that could possibly work. I had
to pay $5 and change for the part, pretty expensive for small little part, and
probably due to the fact that the only thing they carried in that size with
threads from head to toe was 3 feet long.
Yes, I bought a 3 foot long screw to get a 3 inch screw. Hey, I was down to the specialty shop
already, and wasn’t about to try and order a part from the alternate universe,
and besides, if one could be lost, than so could another, and for just five
bucks I now have a lifetime supply.
The better part of 30 minutes was spent hacking my way
through this $5 screw with my $3 hacksaw.
The thought came to me, as I struggled to even make a scratch on this
hardened steel piece, that I should really have a bigger and better hacksaw,
but I banished that thought (repeatedly) and soldiered on. After much gnashing of teeth, and several
near-misses of the knuckles with the hacksaw blade, this critical project was
accomplished.
A well-earned cup of Joe is in order, as I review the actual
to-do list I have for the day.
Thankfully, I don’t see anything on it requiring the use of my $3
hacksaw, so I am tossing it back into the bowels of my toolbox where it can
stay, hopefully, for a long, long time.